祂从山的那一边走来

“你们祈求，就给你们；寻找，就寻见；叩门，就给你们开门。”

（马太福音7:7）

一、山的外面是什么？

晨雾像一匹半透明的纱，轻轻搭在青黛色的山梁上，几户瓦房露出湿漉漉的檐角，而村里那间古寺的飞檐，正默默看着殿内斑驳的佛像，和佛前虔诚俯首的善男信女。

小小的我，就被老实巴交的父母塞进这堆善男信女里面，在密布于寺庙里的各种神像佛像面前怯怯地磕头。

是的，这个位于中国西南部的小山村就是我的故乡。我们家祖祖辈辈生活在这一片冬无严寒、夏无酷暑、日照充足、四季常青的土地上，家家户户拜佛已成为世代相传的文化。每逢初一十五，家里必烧香、换净水；逢庙会时，大家也都争先恐后地去拜拜，祈求国泰民安，风调雨顺，家业兴旺。

作为从小就在家中接受三从四德教育的女孩，我总是按长辈的指令配合那些祭拜的仪式。可是说来奇怪，从小时候起，每当我去磕头的时候，心里就有一种说不出的抵触。

我看着那些神像，我知道它们的来路——我亲眼看见它们被人手打造出来，看见它们被安放上去，看见它们被挪移、被加固、被修理。那时候，我心里总有一个声音在说：真正的神，应该是掌管宇宙万物的，这些被人抬来抬去、放在那里的东西，怎么可能是神呢？

那时候我还很小，但有些问题已经在我心里生了根。

和爸爸一起在村里干活的时候，我望着那边层峦叠嶂的山，问爸爸：“山外面是什么？这些山是谁放在这里的？”

爸爸没有这些问题的答案，他的呵斥却没有除去我心里的困惑。

在那个年代，我已经听说过现代化的机器；但是我知道，没有一台机器能把一座座山这样摆在那里——这不是人力所能做到的，山太大了。那么，是谁有这样的力量呢，谁使它们参差交错、各有布局，谁在山上安放了那么多漂亮的花草树木，还让各种鸟兽生活在其中？这些在今天看来非常简单的问题，却在我小小的心中盘踞了许多年，让我一有机会就有寻求答案的渴望。

后来上学以后，我心中有了更多的疑问。在喂鸡的时候，我想到刚学到的单词“chicken”，就想：同一个东西，为什么不同的语言会有不同的叫法呢？这些万事万物，到底是谁给它们命名的？

这些问题在我心里盘旋了很久，像一群飞不出去的鸟。可是周围没有人能给我答案。大人们只是周而复始地烧香拜佛，他们对这些关于创造的问题既没有兴趣，也回答不了。

因为这些远离我们日常生活的想法和问题，我在家人眼里成了一个“叛逆的小孩”。每当我揣着寻求答案的渴望尝试发问，大人们就责备我“不敬、不懂事”，更不会试着跟我一起探索。他们不明白，我内心里沸腾的不是叛逆，而是一种他们不能理解的燃烧的渴望。每当被他们带去佛像面前不情不愿地磕头的时候，我就隐隐觉得：如果真的有神，祂一定不是这样的。

二、一本圣经，回答了童年的所有问题

长大以后，我离开了那个香烟缭绕的小山村。在多年成长的岁月里，小时候积攒下来的问题也静静地蛰伏在我的心里，让我一有机会就切换到探询模式。

从云南昆明辗转来到新加坡，我见到了比小山村更大的世界，也见到了比父老乡亲更接近问题答案的人群。那时候，我和一群同样来自国内的年轻人一起工作。一群对明天怀揣梦想的人，同在异乡为异客，青春作伴，互相取暖。

那一年临近圣诞节，同事中的一个帅小伙邀请我去参加一个圣诞派对。我心里不情愿，各种找理由拒绝。倒不是对这个叫罗瑞的小伙子有意见，只是在我的印象里，参加那种派对需要穿很华丽的衣服，而我没有那种盛装。在罗瑞的一再邀请下，我犹豫了很久，最后还是勉强答应去看看。

但因为自己本身就不情愿，我磨磨蹭蹭地出发，结果迟到了很久。迟迟来到约好的车站时，依约在那里等候我们的一位大哥——我们后来称他为祝兄——却一点都没有不耐烦，而是很喜乐地把我们接到他家去。到了那里，我发现不大的家里竟坐着二十几个人，都是从中国不同省份来的。那是我第一次参加圣诞聚会，大家聚在一起，言笑晏晏，气氛很温暖。

餐后，一位大姐来到我身边，拿出一个小册子问我：“你相信有神吗？”

我看了一下她手中的小册子，看到上面印着的《福音桥》几个字，幼时在村里寺庙反复叩拜的那些场景瞬间涌上心头。我记得很清楚，当时我对大姐说：“我相信有神，但是我不知道哪个神是真的。”

大姐打开小册子，一页页地跟我分享起来。

她向我介绍了耶稣。她告诉我，耶稣是上帝的儿子。上帝因为爱我们，把祂的独生儿子耶稣，以人的形体降生在世间。这是一个完美的救赎计划，因为人类陷在罪中无法自救，耶稣就为人类的罪被钉在十字架上，承担了人类的罪债，使人类可以得救。借着耶稣，我们可以回到上帝那里去。

那是我第一次听到耶稣的名字。然而大姐所说的，当时我听得懵懵懂懂，并不明白。于是，大姐把一本圣经递给了我。

打开《创世记》的一瞬间，那长期盘踞在我心中的谜团就轰然土崩瓦解了。我找到答案了！就在那一刻，我知道——是的，就是祂！这就是那位神，就是我一直在找的神。

圣经《创世记》第一章第一节说：“起初，神创造天地。”

就是眼目所及的这第一句话，像一声巨石投进我的心湖里，灵里欢声雷动，心间石破天惊。一阵阵涟漪回荡着翻卷出阵阵难以形容的甘甜和暖意。我是对的，我不是“叛逆的小孩”，也不是“不敬、不懂事”，而是，这宇宙之中，真的有一位神！

小时候我问爸爸：山是谁放的？万物是谁命名的？那些问题从来没有人能回答我。可是翻开圣经，这第一句话就把我多年来苦苦追寻的答案给了我。

那一刻，我心里蛰伏多年的疑问烟消云散。我很肯定地告诉大姐：“我要相信这位神。”

后来在圣经中读到《罗马书》第一章20节：“自从造天地以来，神的永能和神性是明明可知的，虽是眼不能见，但借着所造之物就可以晓得，叫人无可推诿。”我就明白：原来，小时候我看见山、看见万物、心里那些说不清的问题，都是神在借着所造之物，轻轻叩着我的心门。在我还不知道祂的时候，祂就已经拣选了我，并把我引领上一条持续多年的寻神之路。

三、十多年后，我依然在路上

从那以后，我就一直去教会，和后来成为我丈夫的罗瑞一起去，再后来和我们的孩子一起去。从新加坡到澳大利亚，我们越来越明白神借着主耶稣拯救世人的大能和恩典，也与许许多多相识或偶遇的人分享这位真神的福音，还把主耶稣的救恩传回养育我的小山村，传给过去那些年共同生活过的人们。

这些年来，我们家经历了许许多多大大小小的见证，包括神如何在几乎不可能的情况下赐下孩子，在各种环境中如何安慰和带领，希望后续有机会和大家慢慢分享。

现在，从在祝兄家里翻开圣经的那一刻算起，已经过去了十多年。我和罗瑞一如既往地活在神的同在和祝福里。不管路途多远，不管多累，不管遇到什么，我们都尽量参与敬拜，也会一直寻求神的旨意。

因为我知道，祂就是那位创造天地的主，也是我从小就在寻找的那一位。

圣经《使徒行传》第17章27节说：“要叫他们寻求神，或者可以揣摩而得，其实祂离我们各人不远。”

是的，祂离我们不远。

从一个农村寺庙里磕头的小孩，到一个在异国他乡翻开圣经的打工者——那条路我走了很多年，但祂一直在等我。

He Came from Beyond the Mountains

A Rural Child’s Journey of Seeking

v  Kayla

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

（Matthew 7:7）

I. What Lies Beyond the Mountains?

The morning mist draped itself over the dark-green mountain ridges like a length of translucent gauze. A few tile-roofed houses revealed their dampened eaves, and the upturned eaves of the village’s ancient temple silently gazed down upon the mottled Buddhist statues within its hall, and upon the devout men and women bowing earnestly before them.

Small as I was, my simple, honest parents tucked me among those kneeling worshipers, and I timidly kowtowed before the multitude of god and Buddha images that crowded the temple.

Yes, this little mountain village in southwestern China is my hometown. For generations, my family has lived on this land—a place free of harsh winters and scorching summers, bathed in abundant sunshine and evergreen all year round. Household worship of Buddha had become a culture handed down through the ages. On the first and fifteenth of every lunar month, we would burn incense and replace the water offerings. During temple festivals, everyone rushed to pay homage, praying for national peace, favourable weather, and flourishing families.

As a girl raised from childhood to observe the “three obediences and four virtues,” I always followed my elders’ instructions and complied with those ritual observances. Yet, strange to say, from the time I was very little, whenever I knelt to kowtow, an indescribable resistance stirred in my heart.

I would look at those statues, and I knew exactly where they came from—I had seen with my own eyes how human hands fashioned them, how they were installed, how they were moved, reinforced, and repaired. In those moments, a voice always spoke within me: A true God should be the one who rules over the entire universe. How could these things, carried around and placed here by people, possibly be God?

I was still very young then, but certain questions had already taken root in my heart.

While working alongside my father in the village fields, I would gaze at the overlapping ridges of mountains and ask him, “What is beyond the mountains? Who put these mountains here?”

My father had no answers for such questions, and his scolding did nothing to dispel the confusion in my heart.

In those days, I had already heard of modern machines, but I knew that no machine could set mountain after mountain in place like that—it was beyond human strength. The mountains were simply too vast. So, who possessed such power? Who arranged them in their staggered, interlocking patterns, each with its own design? Who placed all those beautiful flowers, plants, and trees upon them, and caused every kind of bird and beast to dwell among them? These questions, which seem so simple today, occupied my little heart for many years, filling me with a longing to seek the answers at every opportunity.

Later, when I started school, even more questions arose within me. While feeding the chickens, I would think of the English word I had just learned—“chicken”—and wonder: Why does the same thing have a different name in a different language? Who, ultimately, gave all things their names?

These questions circled in my mind for a long time, like a flock of birds that could not fly out. Yet no one around me could provide answers. The adults simply went on with their cycles of burning incense and bowing to Buddha. They had neither the interest nor the ability to answer these questions about creation.

Because of thoughts and questions so far removed from our daily lives, I became a “rebellious child” in the eyes of my family. Whenever I carried my thirst for answers and tried to ask, the adults would scold me for being “disrespectful and immature,” and they certainly never attempted to explore alongside me. They did not understand that what was boiling inside me was not rebellion, but a burning longing they could not comprehend. Every time they hauled me reluctantly before the Buddha images to kowtow, a faint conviction stirred within me: If there really is a God, He certainly cannot be like this.

II. A Bible Answered All the Questions of My Childhood

When I grew up, I left that little mountain village wreathed in the smoke of incense. Through all those years of growing, the questions I had accumulated as a child lay quietly dormant in my heart, ready to switch me into “seeking mode” whenever an opportunity arose.

My journey took me from Kunming, Yunnan, all the way to Singapore, where I saw a world far larger than my little mountain village, and met people far closer to the answers than my fellow villagers back home. At that time, I worked alongside a group of young people who, like me, had come from mainland China. A bunch of people carrying dreams for tomorrow, strangers together in a foreign land, keeping each other warm with the companionship of youth.

As Christmas drew near that year, a handsome young colleague invited me to a Christmas party. My heart resisted, and I found all kinds of excuses to decline. It wasn’t that I had anything against this young man named Luo Rui, but in my mind, attending such a party required very fancy clothes, and I had no such formal attire. Under Luo Rui’s persistent invitation, I hesitated for a long time, and finally, reluctantly, agreed to go and have a look.

But because of my inner reluctance, I dawdled and ended up arriving very late. When I finally reached the agreed-upon station, the older brother waiting for us there—whom we later came to call Brother Zhu—showed not a trace of impatience. Instead, he very joyfully welcomed us to his home. When we arrived, I discovered that his modest home was filled with over twenty people, all from different provinces in China. That was my first time attending a Christmas gathering. Everyone sat together, talking and laughing, and the atmosphere was very warm.

After the meal, a sister came to my side, held out a small booklet, and asked me, “Do you believe there is a God?”

I glanced at the booklet in her hand and saw the words “The Gospel Bridge” printed on it. In an instant, scenes of repeatedly bowing and kneeling in the village temple as a child flooded my mind. I remember very clearly what I told her then: “I believe there is a God, but I don’t know which god is the true one.”

The sister opened the booklet and began to share with me, page by page.

She introduced Jesus to me. She told me that Jesus is the Son of God. Because God loves us, He sent His only Son, Jesus, to be born into the world in human form. This was a perfect plan of salvation, because humanity, trapped in sin and unable to save itself, needed Jesus to be nailed to the cross for humankind’s sins, bearing the debt of sin so that humanity could be saved. Through Jesus, we can return to God.

That was the very first time I heard the name of Jesus. But at the time, what she said sounded muddled and unclear to me; I didn’t understand it. So the sister handed me a Bible.

The moment I opened the Book of Genesis, the enigmas that had long besieged my heart crumbled with a thunderous roar. I had found the answer! In that very moment, I knew—yes, it was Him! This was the God, the very God I had been seeking all along.

The first verse of Genesis, chapter one, says: “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” (Genesis 1:1)

It was this very first sentence before my eyes, crashing into the lake of my heart like a great boulder. My spirit rang out with joy, a monumental revelation breaking open in my heart. Ripple after ripple spread, rolling up waves of sweetness and warmth too profound to describe. I had been right. I was not a “rebellious child,” nor was I “disrespectful and immature.” Rather, in this universe, there truly is a God!

When I was little, I asked my father: Who put the mountains there? Who gave all things their names? No one had ever been able to answer me. But opening the Bible, this very first sentence gave me the answer I had been painstakingly seeking for so many years.

In that moment, all the questions that had lain dormant in my heart for years dissolved like mist. I said to the sister with absolute certainty: “I want to believe in this God.”

Later, I read in Romans 1:20 -“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.” And I understood: So it was that when I was little, when I looked at the mountains and all creation and felt those indescribable questions in my heart, it was God gently knocking on the door of my heart through the things He had made. Before I even knew Him, He had already chosen me and led me onto a years-long path of seeking Him.

III. Over a Decade Later, I Am Still on the Journey

From that time on, I kept going to church—with Luo Rui, who later became my husband, and later still, with our children. From Singapore to Australia, we have grown ever more deeply in our understanding of God’s power and grace in saving the world through the Lord Jesus. We have shared the gospel of this true God with many people we’ve known or encountered by chance, and we have even carried the salvation of the Lord Jesus back to the little mountain village that raised me, and passed it on to the people I lived with in years gone by.

Over these years, our family has experienced countless testimonies, both great and small, including how God granted us children under nearly impossible circumstances, and how He has comforted and guided us through all kinds of situations. I hope to have the opportunity to share those stories with you all, little by little, in the future.

Now, over a decade has passed since that moment I opened the Bible in Brother Zhu’s home. Luo Rui and I, as ever, live in the presence and blessing of God. No matter how far the journey, no matter how tired we are, no matter what we encounter, we do our best to participate in worship and serving, and we will always continue to seek God’s will.

Because I know: He is the Lord who created the heavens and the earth, and He is the very One I have been seeking since I was a child.

Acts 17:27 (NIV) says: “God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.”

Yes, He is not far from us.

From a child kowtowing in a rural temple to a migrant worker opening the Bible in a foreign land—that road took me many years, but He was waiting for me all along.